Couples in Public

Whenever I see a couple, (any pair whether it be both males, both females or one male one female) I always assume that they are in a beyond-friend zone-and-family zone-relationship. Is it just me?

I guess it happened when I started getting pressured into making myself “presentable” to get a boyfriend. Being in a relationship is not something I want now, probably when I have a job and everything is sort of stable. That would probably be a bit late though. But I am also the “go-with-the-flow” person, so if it happens, it happens. The only time I don’t think of people as a couple is when they are in a group and when they are by themselves (I always assume that they are loners like me). 

It was raining really hard today and there were obviously people sharing umbrellas, as usual I assume they are a couple. This time I felt so lonely. I was walking under my tiny umbrella that doesn’t do anything but let my bag and pants get soaked. Since, I felt lonely I started texting a friend to try to meet up. But she didn’t reply. Then the umbrella started leaking. So in the end, I was that person standing in the rain, half soaked, with a leaking umbrella and trying to get in contact with people they know but no one replies. 

I never felt lonely or moody when I have these thoughts. I don’t know what made today so different to the previous days. Is it because it was raining? There are always those cheesy rain scenes in romance movies. I think so. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.

~Lila~

Falling Behind (❁°͈▵°͈)

I admit that I am not smart like the people around me assume I am. Yes, I understand things pretty quickly but what I learnt will fly out of my head a few minutes after learning it. There aren’t a lot of things I excel in except procrastinating. That leads me to discover my forte in studying: falling behind.

I’m already two weeks in uni and I’m already struggling with keeping up with studies despite being familiar with all that was taught, since I was taught the content learnt so far during high school. Even though the content is somewhat a revision for me, I wanted to put in the time to memorise the content and put in effort this time. But instead, I am now spending my weekends trying to catch up on two weeks of science and maths homework and tutorial questions. Not fun.

But at least I’m not skipping any of my lectures unlike the certain smart people I know.

(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

Can’t stop procrastinating. I should get off the computer and end this post now.

┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

~Lila~

When I Smile

Many people say that when someone smiles they look a lot better than when they don’t smile.

Happiness just looks so good on people, don’t they?

But why do I look like a doof when I genuinely smile or laugh?

You are You

I am writing this from recent events and experiences (what happens nearly every day and yesterday’s Mardi Gras event). This is mostly to make myself feel better and let everything off my chest.

I don’t have a very high self-esteem. I rarely see my father as he is either out to work or sleeping when I am up; he works from 3am to 4pm and sleeps at 6pm. My mother doesn’t work. She has very high expectations for my brother and I, since she was a quite successful person when she was a student in China.

As the oldest child in the family, most of the expectations are forced onto me. And as the oldest child, mistakes and experiments will be made since my parents are not familiar with the Australian education system. I’m cool with that. But sometimes things can get quite overwhelming.

In NSW, there are a few exams which students can take to put themselves “on a different level to other students their age”. Two of the main exams are the Opportunity Class exams and the Selective High School exams. As a child from a very traditional family, I took them both.

Determined to Stay Single

I know this will somehow contradict what I was saying in my Valentine’s post, but I contradict myself all the time so why not?

Yesterday I had a six hour break in uni because I tutorials and labs didn’t run on the first week, so I went home.

So there I was sitting at the dining table happily eating bread and whatever food I can find at home, when my mum says:

“I was just talking to a friend and I want to introduce you to someone because I think you should get a boyfriend now.”

You can probably imagine out surprised I was. I choked on bread.

I was also hurt. Does she want to give me away so quickly?

But I kind of understand her since I was kind of voted as one of the people most likely to get married when they are in their late 30’s and 40’s among my classmates in high school.

I wanted to go at my own pace. I’m still not comfortable communicating with males and I don’t have a lot of male friends. I have 1 who I treat like my brother, but that’s it. Everyone else is a classmate.

The day that I end up in a relationship will be a big day.

~Lila~

So I think I’m going to have a Social Life

I’m starting uni on Monday, basically tomorrow, oh my glob pray for me 😥 .

I also joined a club/students association based around Japan culture and Japanese stuff during O-week (Frosh Week, Welcome Week or Freshers’ Week whatever you call it).

What was I thinking??!!

I don’t know what drew me to that association stall to sign up. Maybe because they have an event each week? Or because they occasionally meet up with Japanese exchange students? Who knows. There was a $10 lifetime membership fee. I’m dumb. I’m a poor idiot who spends money on random things.

What I am still trying to get used to, is that I might actually start having a social life. Which is quite limited in my life for the last 19 years.

A Message To High School Girls

What I wanted to say to most of the high schoolers

CHRISTINA PETROVSKI

Dear young, high school girl,

I know you probably feel so grown up. All you want to do is look older, be able to nail that contour and smokey eye, and try finding a fake id. But please slow down. Live out your innocence and childhood as long as you can. None of the guys around you right now in high school care about you. They only want one thing from you. I promise. I watched it happen to most of my friends in those four years. I’m blessed to have avoided that type of emotional attachment at that age. Stop partying, stop the drama, stop not caring about your grades and bragging about it. Don’t be an asshole to that nerdy guy, because I guarantee you will be running after him after he is accepted into Detroit Mercy Dental School and that hot guy throwing bush parties right now…

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My Holy Grail Moisturiser

Some of you may already know that my dream career is to be a dermatologist. But so far, I have not posted anything related to skincare because of my not so clear skin. I was thinking that I will post skincare related posts on what has worked and what hasn’t worked for me. Keep in mind, that I have limited interest and knowledge in makeup so there won’t be any makeup related posts.

For those who don’t already know, I will be starting university next week and since I am attempting to transfer into Medicine I have to work extra hard because I didn’t do so well in High School and somehow the High School results are also involved in the application. As a result, I won’t be posting as frequently as I used to and will only post when I can. Sorry.

Catching Up with the Mates

I was invited to a friend’s house to catch-up with the crew before we start university and college.

My main reason for going was actually because I like the food her family serves. The first three hours were spent on her Queen sized bed on our phones. Social media. No communication. With the exception of the occasional video sharing and laughing.

Motivation #4