Couples in Public

Whenever I see a couple, (any pair whether it be both males, both females or one male one female) I always assume that they are in a beyond-friend zone-and-family zone-relationship. Is it just me?

I guess it happened when I started getting pressured into making myself “presentable” to get a boyfriend. Being in a relationship is not something I want now, probably when I have a job and everything is sort of stable. That would probably be a bit late though. But I am also the “go-with-the-flow” person, so if it happens, it happens. The only time I don’t think of people as a couple is when they are in a group and when they are by themselves (I always assume that they are loners like me). 

It was raining really hard today and there were obviously people sharing umbrellas, as usual I assume they are a couple. This time I felt so lonely. I was walking under my tiny umbrella that doesn’t do anything but let my bag and pants get soaked. Since, I felt lonely I started texting a friend to try to meet up. But she didn’t reply. Then the umbrella started leaking. So in the end, I was that person standing in the rain, half soaked, with a leaking umbrella and trying to get in contact with people they know but no one replies. 

I never felt lonely or moody when I have these thoughts. I don’t know what made today so different to the previous days. Is it because it was raining? There are always those cheesy rain scenes in romance movies. I think so. Or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better.

~Lila~

Determined to Stay Single

I know this will somehow contradict what I was saying in my Valentine’s post, but I contradict myself all the time so why not?

Yesterday I had a six hour break in uni because I tutorials and labs didn’t run on the first week, so I went home.

So there I was sitting at the dining table happily eating bread and whatever food I can find at home, when my mum says:

“I was just talking to a friend and I want to introduce you to someone because I think you should get a boyfriend now.”

You can probably imagine out surprised I was. I choked on bread.

I was also hurt. Does she want to give me away so quickly?

But I kind of understand her since I was kind of voted as one of the people most likely to get married when they are in their late 30’s and 40’s among my classmates in high school.

I wanted to go at my own pace. I’m still not comfortable communicating with males and I don’t have a lot of male friends. I have 1 who I treat like my brother, but that’s it. Everyone else is a classmate.

The day that I end up in a relationship will be a big day.

~Lila~