This is going to be something like an insecurity post. I will be talking about some things to get it off my chest.
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I have a friend who heavily relies on ones star sign to determine someones personality and capabilities. She is a Libra and uses the excuse that “Libras are indecisive” to avoid getting put on the spot to make choices and decisions, it seriously annoys me and I always end up telling her off.
Since, I am around her quite often, recently I feel like I am more aware of these things too. It first started off with a little research on the personality associated with my star sign (Leo), now I’m searching up friendship compatibilities. What I found from my research on my star sign has started to make me really self conscious about what I do and what I say. The personality of Leo is someone who is headstrong, has leadership qualities but sometimes to many people can be seen as arrogance. I also found that not a lot of people like people with a Leo star sign.
I also talked to my mother about my personality when I was younger. Apparently, mini me was a bossy one who goes crazy when people don’t listen to her. Also likes everything perfect and expects the best. This made me think about the way I sometimes am currently. These coming weeks will be crazy filled with assessments, exams, and groups tasks. I like to be the type who starts off early because I know there will always be last minute things. But the people I was assigned with for the group tasks seem to be the types who start off late. This isn’t making me very happy. I have started most of the work and have been telling people what to do so we can get something done. But no one has done anything except saying “ok”. One of my mates, who happened to be in one of my groups, said “I will do whatever you say”. I don’t know if it was intentional, but that hit where it hurts. And it was that moment when I realised that I am displaying most of the personalities associated with Leo.
The thing is I don’t like being hated or disliked. I’m fine if people don’t know I exist, but if they genuinely don’t like me…I don’t know.
What do you guys think about this situation? How do I tone down on my bossiness? I tend to not realise what I am doing until later in the day when I have time to think. And when I try not to be too “in your face” I become really quiet and won’t say anything until someone tells me to talk. I can’t seem to get the ‘in-between’.
~Lila~
LilaDays 